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My collected works span ten volumes and over 2,400 pages of theatrical imagination. Click on each title to see a synopsis of the play or volume.

Waiting and Wagging at the Door–the Shared History of Humans and Dogs (in a slew of short stage plays)
This collection of short plays–each under fifteen minutes long–covers the long history of the close relationship between humans and dogs, from the dawn of time to the present day. There is even one play–the last one–set in Dog Heaven. Some of the plays are based on the lives of stand-out dogs and dog-owners and breeds of dogs from history, and some of the plays are based on everyday dog ownership, and some are based in legend and lore. And some are just the author’s pure-bred but wild imagination of what dogs might think of us if they could walk across a stage in a play and speak their minds for a change, instead of all that silly whining and barking and peeing on the rug to get our attention. Feel free to pick and choose, just as you would a dog; you might just fall in love.
On Beyond Bonkers–Fourteen Plays About Everything You Can Imagine (or Just Me Having Fun Writing Plays for Grownups)
This collection of plays for grown-ups offers a wide selection, from scripts that would run roughly ten-minutes in length to up to an hour on stage, from all points of the satirical spectrum–with some being very, very dark indeed and some being quite naughty–plays about work and relationships and aging and sex and childbirth and artificial intelligence and space travel and racism and misogyny and spiders and vampires and time travel and what it means to be a puppet. In short, everything you might ask for, if you love theatre and you happen to be in the mood to laugh, or if you are very, very drunk.

Volume One: Plays About Everything You Can Imagine: Mythical Monsters and Barely Human Robots:
> Hercules
Full Length, Comedy Adventure
Variable casting, with a few large roles and many supporting ones, plus crowd scenes
Total Cast: 30+
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: Soon-to-be-legend Hercules is born in Ancient Greece, a product of a dalliance by Zeus. Once the half-mortal, half-god hero reaches adulthood, Hera, Zeus’s understandably jealous queen, using the mortal King Eurystheus as her agent of revenge, saddles the agreeable but not so bright Greek hero with twelve incredibly dangerous and seemingly impossible “labors.” The hero receives advice along the way from Athena, goddess of wisdom, and a little help from his little brother, Iphicles as well. Monsters and mayhem abound.
> Automegarobotron
Full Length, Comedy Science Fiction
Some variable casting, with 4 male, 3 female and 3 more flexible
Total Cast: 10
Settings: Spaceship interior
Synopsis:
On board a huge and wandering cargo vessel in outer space in the far, far future, we meet the all-robot “automegarobotron” crew, among them the mining expert, Osiris, who has lately been acting a little strange. We also meet their kindly but damaged and quirky computer, Agnes, who we only ever see as an onscreen presence. Before long, the ship receives a panicked distress call and they pick up three shady quasi-humanoid alien vagabonds–a rat, a lizard, and a frog-type thing. When the three aliens learn that the cargo being lugged about aimlessly by the lost robots can make them unimaginably wealthy, Toxico the Rat devises a plan to stay on board long enough to shut down the robots and take over the ship. The aliens plot to ingratiate themselves by teaching the robots about something called “The Arts,” of which the robots know nothing at all. The only robot who might present a problem is this Osiris character, who knows a rat when he sees one.
Volume Two: Plays About Everything You Can Imagine: Anthropologists in a Prehistoric Cave and a City of Anthropomorphic Bugs
> The Cave of the Magical Neanderthal
Full Length, Comedy Time Travel Adventure Musical
Variable casting, but more or less equally divided between genders among the Neanderthals
Total Cast: 18+
Settings: Interior of a cave
Synopsis: The play is set entirely in a cave, where we find a cluster of Neanderthals. Right away, we hear the approach of a group of scientists on an expedition. As they enter, we realize that neither group can see or hear the other–as they are sharing the cave space, but are in fact thousands of years apart. The newcomers–three prominent anthropologists and two eager graduate students–find clear evidence of the previous occupants in the cave paintings that still adorn the walls. As the scientists prepare a campsite, they banter about their theories concerning the very people moving about the cave around them, including probable Neanderthal belief in magic, and the role of the shaman in prehistoric society. What none of the scientists anticipate is that they are about to come face to face with disturbing evidence of that very magic–as one by one, they begin to disappear.
> Slime City
Full Length, Noir Detective Anthropomorphic Bug Comedy/Drama
Variable casting, with a few large roles and many supporting ones, and doubling possible
Total Cast: 20+
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: Welcome to Slime City, and the office of Slug and Bug, private eyestalks. In the tradition of classic noir detective tales, we are introduced to the narrative speculations of Sam Slug, and we learn of life and death in a city of sneaky dirty dealings. We meet all manner of invertebrate life forms, including Sam’s partner, a louse named Snazzy Bug, and their secretary, a hardworking ant named Sally. We also meet the notorious Boss Centipede and the deadly Señora Tarantula and assorted cops, criminals, and victims, and we learn from Sam just how hard it can be to tell which is which in this city, especially lately, as everyone seems to be seeking something called the Nile Sarcophagus.
Volume Three: Plays About Everything You Can Imagine: Wickedness and Love in Families, Snakes, Rock Music and Mummification
> Accumulation
Full Length, Multigenerational Family Drama
6 male, 6 female
Total Cast: 12
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: The play follows the Snows and the Purdys across many generations. We learn how the focus differs in the two families and how their lives intersect. Central to their lives directly or indirectly is the character of Steve Snow. In the very first scene, in his late forties, while rummaging through the attic of his parents’ house with his younger brother and sister, they find an old Monopoly game and Steve challenges them to a game. While the sister is against the idea, Steve insists, and we learn a lot about the family dynamic. As the play progresses, we see the influence of Steve’s concept of accumulation across the generations. When we last see him, in the very last scene, many many years have passed, and life has taken a very different turn for Steve Snow, although he has obtained a monopoly after all.
> House of Snakes
Full Length, Drama, Live Actor/Puppet Mix
1 male lead, 13 snake puppeteers, 1 female (small role, non-speaking), and one voice only
Total Cast: 15
Settings: flexible
Synopsis: Hank, proprietor and operator of a one-man snake show, tells tales of all varieties of the world’s deadliest snakes. He shares statistics, authenticated stories, and cultural beliefs–some of snakes as symbols of healing, and some as symbols of death itself, and from every corner of the globe. And he tells them all from the safety of a raised platform in the center of the stage. Meanwhile, the snakes themselves slither below, and they, too, talk to the audience, as a sort of Greek chorus, accentuating the telling of the tales, and sometimes telling the stories themselves. Hank sometimes imagines that he can hear them, but surely that is all a kind of nightmare, right?
> Eternity
Full Length, Time Travel Fantasy Drama
9 male, 7 female
Total Cast: 16
Settings: Interior–a modern recording studio, and alternatively, an ancient Egyptian tomb, with a sarcophagus center stage throughout the play
Synopsis:. As the play opens, we see a 1970s rock band rehearsing for a concert with an ancient Egyptian design theme. Centerstage is a sarcophagus. During the rehearsal, Ray Allen Poe, the band’s enigmatic lead singer, fails to emerge from the sarcophagus on cue. When they call to him and he does not respond, the other band members open the sarcophagus and find that Ray has vanished. In the next scene, thirty years have passed, and the band, which broke up after the mysterious disappearance of their star, has been reunited for a magazine feature in the now long-abandoned studio. Upon their arrival, we see that the studio has been turned into a shrine by the band’s fans, two of whom show up just in time to witness the reemergence from the sarcophagus of the long-lost rock star, who, unlike his bandmates, hasn’t aged a day, and who insists that he is not Ray Allen Poe, but the Pharaoh Gornot II, and that he has escaped an afterlife judgment by possessing the body of some man who happened to be in his sarcophagus at just the right time. Investigations ensue, including some from Gornot’s time, and some from the Land of the Dead.
Volume Four: Plays About Everything You Can Imagine: Government Shenanigans with Sacrifices, Magic Beans, Musketeers, and More
> Theseus and the Minotaur
One Act in three parts, Satirical Fantasy
Variable casting, with all actors except for the Minotaur playing a different role in each section
Total Cast: 9
Settings: Interior, the labyrinth
Synopsis: We meet the sacrificial Greek victims, making their way, terrified, through the labyrinth of the Minotaur. At the end of the scene, the monster appears and begins his feast, along with a comic monologue addressed to the audience. He reemerges to start the second part of the play with another lighthearted monologue before we see the second group enter, this time led by a sort of modern pop psychologist named Hambonius, but inexplicably in Ancient Greece. And again, the Minotaur returns at the end for his expected feast. In the third part of the play, we move forward in time in the present day, and the labyrinth is now a tourist site, and the tour guide–Harry, of MinoTours–is very clearly actually the Minotaur. But before the play is done, it takes a labyrinthian turn into wacky science fiction, but maintains its comic lunacy.
> Jackson and the Beanstalker
Full Length, Satirical Fantasy
Variable casting, but mostly male
Total Cast: 24
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: Earl Jackson delivers eggs to Safe Mart, but he has been having nightmares about giants watching him from the clouds. He is approached very secretly by an undercover government agent named Grimm who informs Earl that he is actually the descendant of the original Jack from the famous beanstalk story. The agency, which is not even known to the president, has been keeping an eye on the giant “cloud people,” who have been targeting Earl to enact revenge. Agent Grimm also explains that the giants can shrink when they come to Earth, so they can look like any other large hairy human. The play follows Earl as he and two agents climb the beanstalk; and the Giant Fum, who has come down a beanstalk of his own and shaved off his beard so that he can live harmoniously with the humans of America, and various other strange denizens of the original tale and some newly invented ones, including some people of Earth who are equally weird but also strangely familiar.
> Musketeers in Ties
Full Length, Modern Satire
Variable casting, with a few large roles and many supporting ones
Total Cast: 20+
Settings: Interior, an office building
Synopsis: Loman Wills, a bookish clerk in a government office building, wanders onto the executive elevator, his nose in a European history book, and discovers a secret world of government executives role-playing plot lines right out of “The Three Musketeers.” Soon, Loman is recruited to be “the latest D’artagnan” and learns that the chief executive officer descended thinks that he is the King of France and the other administrators keep the fantasy alive, and the “Cardinal,” is played by the head of accounting. The King’s Men wear blue ties and the Cardinal’s men wear red ties and they fence in the hallways and act out ludicrous scenes from the famous novel instead of conducting their jobs. This is all fine with Loman, until his friend Bernice gets pulled into the plot as a kidnapping victim and Loman is forced to become a real life hero.
> You’ve Been DCeived
Full Length, Modern Satire
Variable casting, with a few large roles and many supporting ones, plus crowd scenes
Total Cast: 30+
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: The absurdities of our nation’s capital consume the lives of four hard-working Americans–the crafty and clever rogue investigative reporter Cindy, the extremely likable and overly trusting government receptionist Amy, the hopeful and honest and newly immigrated gelato shop owner Hu, and the earnest and newly-hired congressional aide Able. Their lives take unexpected turns as Cindy takes on various disguises to track down conspiracies and finally finds one, Amy is framed by her despicable boss for embezzling government funds and is sent to federal prison, Hu is abducted and taken a mile underground by government agents who have mistakenly profiled him as a potential terrorist, and Able comes to realize that the congressman who has recently hired him is insane and believes himself to be a literal potato. How can democracy endure?
Volume Five: Plays About Everything You Can Imagine: Excursions into the Dramatic Past and the Imponderable Future
> The Yankee Drummer
Full Length, Historical Drama
20 male, 8 female
Total Cast: 28
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: Four Union soldiers–a lieutenant and three privates–find themselves separated from their unit and lost in the Southern woods at night in the final months of the American Civil War. Suddenly, a mysterious old Southern farmer appears in their camp. They take him prisoner and discover in his possession the diary of a yankee drummer boy. The farmer is surprised and claims to have mistaken the diary for his Bible, which he picked up in haste as he fled his farm, which was set ablaze by Union troops determined to destroy everything in their path. To the further surprise of the small band of soldiers, they then discover that the Southern farmer is completely blind. To take their minds off of their present predicament, and the peculiar nature of their prisoner, the lieutenant in charge of the small band of soldiers orders the one most literate to read the diary aloud. As the private does so, the yankee drummer boy and the other characters in his diary come to life. And for all of them, the night has just begun.
> Revelation
Full Length, Science Fiction Dark Satire
Gender is totally subject to casting, as the characters are all robots
Total Cast: 23
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: Soldiers in the middle of a war; sanitation workers collecting “wretch”; factory workers dealing with machinery; the emperor and the royal philosopher; a psychologist, the long list of patients and the copier repair technician; an archaeologist who discovers and awakens a long-buried ancient barbarian warrior; and a priestess and the runaway criminal who comes to her for help–they are all robots on a barren world in an unfathomable future with no memory of biological life. Even water is considered a myth. Everything in their world is, and always has been, manufactured by previous generations of robots. When at any moment you can be declared obsolete, every moment is a continuing search for any meaning at all.
Volume Six: Plays About Everything You Can Imagine: A Lewis Carroll-esque Creation and a Tale of Cops, Crime and Chemistry
> Molly Among the Lost Things
Full Length, Fantasy Satire
16 male, 21 female, 5 who can be either
Total Cast: 42
Settings: Interior, in ever-changing rooms
Synopsis: In a world of wordplay and nonsense, a young, ever-hopeful and ever-curious Irish orphan named Molly arrives at the door of Bellman Manor, with a note that she has been newly adopted from the Middlemore Home for Pitiful Waifs and Strays by a proper English family. In Bellman Manor she meets several unusual but well-mannered servants, the highly eccentric Barnabas Bellman, who works for the Ministry of Circles, his understandably nervous wife, Beatrice, and their routinely ignored and very precocious daughter, Blennaphobia. As Molly is left to her own devices to explore the manor, she is invited, by the Clock whose very existence is denied by the Bellmans, into a secret world behind the walls, where one can only go if one is invited. Once there, Molly meets abandoned dolls, broken toys, talking rats, a young girl who thinks she is a cat, gargoyles, and ghosts from a long-forgotten prep school. And no matter how strange and foreboding things get, Molly is forever being told to keep going because ahead, there is “something dreadful.”
> Criminal Elements
Full Length, Crime Fantasy Drama
15 male, 13 female, plus 7 who can be either
Total Cast: 35
Settings: Various interior and exterior
Synopsis: A typical big city police department with criminals who are anything but typical. Mystery surrounds their methods, their motives, and especially their means. And recently, a deadly vigilante killer has appeared and has started uncovering criminals in their hideouts and wiping them out with poison gas. And on top of that, some rich lady showed up at the city zoo and started shooting sea lions and a zookeeper. Of course, to the cops, it’s all just part of the weird crime scene in this continuingly unfathomable city. That is until the eccentric but undeniably brilliant Detective Creighton suddenly starts to figure it out. “The secret is in their initials,” he can be heard muttering to himself. And then, just as suddenly, Detective Creighton disappears.
Volume Seven: Plays About Everything You Can Imagine: Dangerous Life as it is Dealt for Sheep and Sheepdogs and for Random Cards
> Everything Changes Hands
Full Length, Dark Fantasy Satire
Variable casting, with a few large roles and many supporting ones
Total Cast: 31
Settings: Some interior, some exterior, mostly abstract
Synopsis: We hear the voice of a dealer, announcing cards as they are being dealt. And as each card is announced, a character in a manner of Renaissance garb, and wielding a weapon, appears, clearly a manifestation of the card and its number and its status and symbol, and takes its place on one side of the stage, and stands at attention, with weapon at the ready. Once a hand is dealt on both sides of the stage, a bloody skirmish ensues, and the stronger of the two hands stands victorious. The slain cards are then discarded, the lights go down, the scene ends, the lights come back up, and another scene in the same manner begins, with new cards in preparation for another fight. But the Dealer’s voice stops suddenly when the “Blank Card” enters. She is in fact not a card at all, but a human girl. From this point on in “the game,” the reality that has always existed for the cards is inexplicably over, and a new reality, and a slowly dawning realization, takes over.
> Everything in Australia Wants to Kill You
Full Length, Comedy Adventure
21 male, 20 female, with at least a dozen more of either gender
Total Cast: 50+
Settings: Exterior, the wilds of Australia
Synopsis: In the 1800s, a flock of British sheep of high society arrives in Australia, accompanied by two sheepdogs–a wizened old Australian named Jack and an impulsive and inexperienced upstart American named Toby. Jack has little patience for Toby’s reckless lack of self-control and lectures the young pup about the dangers of the Australian continent, and all of the animals that can catch you unawares and mean your death and the death of the entire flock if you let down your guard. Just then, as if to prove the old sheepdog’s point, a fire tornado appears, sending the entire flock into a frenzied panic. Toby is startled, and accidentally bumps Jack off the cliff, where the old sheepdog plummets to certain death among the jagged rocks and deadly rapids below. The fire tornado soon exits, but now Toby is utterly alone. The flock of British sheep has dispersed in random directions and Toby has no idea what to do, any more than do the scattered sheep, who have no practical experience at all, given their high-bred former lifestyles. Perhaps some of the native animals might be so good as to come to their aid?
The Autobiographical Nonsense of People and Things: Three Plays Based Somewhat on My Actual Life with Monsters, Talking Animals, a Couple of Hurricanes, and an Errant Eye
> Saving Mofo
Full Length, Autobiographical Drama
6 male, 2 female, 2 of either
Total Cast: 10
Settings: Interior, a pet store
Synopsis: The play opens with a foul-mouthed monologue to the audience. Only when the next character enters do we learn that the monologue was delivered by a parrot and we are in a pet store that sells fish and small animals. We then meet Rachel, a new hire who has arrived for her first day of work. In the course of events, Rachel is told that the badly tempered parrot is regarded as a nuisance, hence the parrot’s name of “Mofo,” and that he never speaks. In spite of the bird’s nasty reputation, he respects Rachel, and talks to her, but only when no one else is around. We also meet Richard, the nervous store manager who hired Rachel; Suzie and Will, who own the store; young Carl, who comes in to talk and to look at snakes; and Molly, a teacher who shops for fish for her son. And when the current manager is transferred to another store, Rachel is given his job, even though she is just out of high school. She learns lots of lessons about being strong and independent, about taking care of customers as well as animals, and about life and death.
> Universal Monsters
Full Length, Autobiographical Drama,
2 male, plus a company of 10 or 12 of either gender (playing 35 more, mostly male characters)
Total Cast: 12+
Settings: Interior, a convenience store
Synopsis: In Miami, during the summer of 1987, in a 24-hour convenience store, it is Scott’s first night on the job, after quitting his much-better paying daytime department store management position. He plans to look for a better job during his daytime hours and use the convenience store job to pay his rent in the meantime. Scott asks Dwayne, the outgoing clerk whose position he is taking, why he is leaving the job, and is told it’s because of the shotgun blast that blew out the plate glass window by the register. Scott is then left alone with his thoughts and whoever walks in, usually to buy beer or cigarettes. The nights and the occasional customers blend with the days and the job interviews and Scott’s reflections about the news of the Reagan administration, and the Universal Monster movies he used to watch late at night as a kid. At the store, he is visited by hallucinations of the monsters, and by one returning “customer” who never buys anything at all–Al, a fourteen-year old with a leg brace who sneaks out of his foster home on a beat-up bicycle for air-conditioning and conversation. Sometimes, we all need protection from monsters.
> Vile Jelly
Full Length, Surrealistic Autobiographical Drama
9 male, 5 female
Total Cast: 14
Settings: Some interior, some exterior
Synopsis: In this play about perspective, Baxterball Musterbun has a detached retina, according to Doc Optic, the opthamologist, who is being crudely interrupted by Vile Jelly, the giant uncanny eyeball who is haunting the theater and taunting the doctor in the examination room. We then meet Missy Musterbun and the Baxterballs’ daughter Cecilia, who plays Dungeons and Dragons with her friends, and Randy of Randy’s Pest Control. We meet Wretched Scum, the huge rat who lives in the attic and raids the kitchen; and we meet his sweet young ratling son, Vermin, who is infatuated with Cecilia and who plays a role-playing game himself called Tricks and Traps with his rat friends. We also meet Copper, the Musterbuns’ dog, who swears like a sailor when he barks, a reaction to the rats or to the toads–Ma, Pa and Tom–who observe and philosophize from a safe distance in the yard. And because of his eye surgery, Baxterball has to lie on a mattress in the living room, surrounded by large plate glass windows, and the news reports the approach of two hurricanes. In this play about perspective, there is so much that Baxterball Musterbun would rather not see.